It’s over. Done. Wrapped up. Finito, for all my Italian-speaking fantasy football friends. Yes, both of you, Giovanni and Fausto. The end of the 2013 Fantasy Football season. Personally, I had my best season ever. Made it to the championship in every one of my leagues, and won all but one. Gloating? Hell, yeah. Granted, I didn’t fare so well in the dailies, but stop interrupting; I’m bragging here.

You should know that, unlike the real NFL, my fake football league successes had very little to do with quarterback play. And how ironic … this story should touch on this very topic! So let’s get to it, some of the most disappointing fantasy quarterbacks of the 2013 fake football season.

5. Matt Ryan, Quarterback, Atlanta Falcons

Matt Ryan could be earmarked as the most snake-bitten quarterback of this year, in terms of losing top-notch talent around him. Julio Jones is one of the most dynamic young wide receivers in the league, and was lost for good Week 5.

Throw in injuries to Roddy White and Steven Jackson, and defenses were mostly able to key on the venerable Tony Gonzalez.

But I guess the question begs to be asked. Does a quarterback thrive only because of killer skill position players? Or does he make average players better? Chicken or egg? Cart before horse? Mayonnaise or salad dressing? OK, I completely digress.

Injuries or not, Ryan was picked as the sixth quarterback in drafts; he finished as the 14th fantasy quarterback … behind the likes of Nick Foles and Andy Dalton. Will Ryan be better next year? Absolutely. He wasn’t awful this year; he was just consistently … well, underwhelming.

He had ONLY three games of 20 or more fantasy points. Yikes. But I’d bet Ryan’s upcoming offseason regimen includes playing Dr. Ryan for Jones, White, etc. He wants them on that field; he needs them on that field. Yep. Lame.

4. Matthew Stafford, Quarterback, Detroit Lions

OK, so the entry may look odd. Stafford was drafted as the eight quarterback, and finished the year as the seventh best fake football quarterback.

So you’re wondering just how much boiled custard I’ve had, right? Not so fast, kids. When all the marbles were on the table—weeks 14, 15 and 16—Stafford scored a whopping 6, 7 and 6 points, in essence breaking hearts and Paypal accounts everywhere.

I’d be very interested to know how many fantasy champions actually survived with Stafford at quarterback on their rosters? Stafford has the greatest wide receiver of our time, Calvin Johnson to throw jump balls to, and this year was blessed with a sieve-like defense, keeping his offense in ‘must-score’ mode most games.

So it’s a bit of a mystery as to what happened. I just know those three games were at Philadelphia, and home to Baltimore and the Giants, not pass-games killing defenses. I just hope he bounces back, and think he will, with a new coaching staff and healthy Megatron. Perhaps he can help make Detroit football be remembered for things other than Jim Schwartz’s mind-numbing game-management decisions and Ndamukong Suh’s mind-numbing in-game decisions.

3. Robert Griffin III, Quarterback, Washington Redskins

There were a handful of my friends and associates that were so high on Griffin III before the season. I was not one of those pundits. Was I right on this? Sure, but was I wrong on 37 others? Maybe. OK, sure.

Griffin III was one of the top 10 quarterbacks chosen in preseason drafts. Would anyone not participating in NASA’s program and stationed literally NOT on planet earth consider this season a positive?

He barely finished the season in the top 20 quarterbacks in points scored. He only had five weeks of 20 points, including eight games with only one or zero touchdowns passes. He never really looked comfortable as a pocket passer OR as a runner.

He continued taking far too many hits by far too many charging defensive lineman at far too many uncomfortable angles. He was helped up by teammates far too often. OK, there is no firm data to support that claim. Nor is there sufficient information to support the thought that Griffin III caused a riff within the Redskins’ front office or that he got the Shanahans fired. But I’m here to offer this: Next year, friends won’t let friend draft Griffin III as a top 10 quarterback.

2. Eli Manning, Quarterback, New York Giants

It’s well-documented so many elements of the game and statistics of Cooper Manning’s youngest brother in my writings of late. Like wondering if his voicemail deflects calls to Peyton’s popularity and successes.

And questioning the viability of those watch commercial claiming his accuracy and reliability. Granted, his preseason expectations weren’t off the charts—he was drafted as the 13th quarterback in most drafts. But, come on man!

Eli threw 27 picks this year. Seriously? For comparison, one Nick Foles threw two. I know, I know … there are some apples and oranges comparing going on here, but you catch my drift. In one league I won—did I mention I won four championships this year?—I had the amazing fortune of trading away Eli after week two in a package deal. Oh, I won that league. Just in case you missed that.

1. Tom Brady, Quarterback, New England Patriots

 With an average draft position as the fourth quarterback drafted, Tom Terrific finished the year as the 13th rated fantasy signal-caller.

Yes, he lost more weapons this past off-season than a small country playing military hide and seek with China. And yet, isn’t this the guy who is a first-ballot hall of famer?

Wasn’t he always the guy who would thrive no matter if he had legitimate wide receivers, or the scheme changed to tight end dependent, he’d keep putting up numbers.

Granted, some of this is real football analysis coming out. Still, Brady had eight weeks of 13 or less points, including week 16 when had a disheartening 10 points when some fantasy owners needed a big week. So, Tom, you have your trophy wife and model good looks to rest in this off-season.

And us? Well, we get to be the brunt of Neanderthal ‘friends’ jokes until next September. Thanks. Really.

And now, I need to be truthful. I don’t really have a friend named Fausto. The guys in my leagues are named Rob and Paul and Darrell. And Darrell’s other brother Darrell.

Frankly, if my buddies were named Fabiano and Nico and Fausto, I’d likely not be sitting here writing this story on a blustery, dreary winter day. Instead, I could be on some cruise gobbling up some of those Italian leftovers. If you know what I mean.