In an alternate universe where the Seattle Seahawks offense picks up the slack for a struggling defense, the likes of Russell Wilson and Doug Baldwin utilized some sort of NanoBubbles concoction to put up the two-best fantasy performances of Sunday's Week 12 action.
Wilson put up a career-high five touchdown passes as well as 345 passing yards to help lead Seattle to a shootout win over the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Three of those touchdown passes went to Baldwin, who put up a 6-145-3 stat line. Heck, rookie running back Thomas Rawls went for 81 yards in Seattle's 39-30 win over Pittsburgh.
I'd say don't buy too high with these guys, but with games coming up against the Cleveland Browns and Baltimore Ravens, the Seahawks might very well find a way to continue putting up some ridiculous numbers on offense.
Speaking of ridiculous, Blaine Gabbert put up 318 passing yards against an Arizona Cardinals defense that entered Week 12 allowing the eighth-fewest passing yards to quarterbacks. It was Gabbert's third consecutive solid outing to start his career as the San Francisco 49ers starting quarterback. Do with that what you want.
For this one scribe, I am definitely going to be looking at how he performs in the final five games of the season. Gabbert is under contract for 2016. And with Colin Kaepernick most likely gone, there might not be a better option for San Francisco when the offseason comes calling. Maybe check to see how cheap he can come in dyno leagues.
Adrian Peterson isn't quite ready to let younger running backs take over for him as the face of that position in the NFL.
Just ask the free-falling Atlanta Falcons.
Peterson put up 187 total yards and two touchdowns in another stellar outing for the future Hall of Fame running back. This has the 30-year-old running back on pace for nearly 2,000 total yards and 12 touchdowns — numbers that would mark the third-best season of his career.
All of you who dropped C.J. Anderson after he looked useless in the first half of the season. Well, who looks useless now? Anderson put up 153 total yards and two touchdowns en route to the second-best fantasy performance among running backs on Sunday. Overall, the Broncos have put up 170-plus rushing yards in each Brock Osweiler's first two starts. For comparison's sake, they tallied less than 70 yards in six of Peyton Manning's nine starts.
Proving that he might not have been solely a product of the aforementioned Manning, Jacksonville Jaguars tight end Julius Thomas recorded nine receptions for 116 yards and a touchdown against the San Diego Chargers on Sunday.
49ers tight end Vance McDonald finished fourth among tight ends in fantasy points, further proving that Gabbert loves himself some tight ends. It's the second consecutive week that McDonald has finished among the top-five fantasy players at his position.
We'd love to know how Seth Roberts finished among the top-10 wide receivers this week. While we were all sitting back and deciding whether to play Amari Cooper or Michael Crabtree in DFS contests against the Tennessee Titans, Roberts trolled us all by recording six receptions for 113 yards and two scores.
Yeah, I hate life too.