Wide receiver Eric Decker, currently of the Denver Broncos, represents quite the comprehensive list of questions for real and fake football fans—as well as NFL general managers—to ponder, as we embark upon this 2014 off-season. Questions include:

* Can Decker realistically become a number one receiver for an NFL team? Or did the Peyton Manning effect artificially inflate his numbers?

* How much money—actual salary and salary cap hit—will he legitimately command, and is he worth it?

* How many times will he take his shirt off during the next season of the hard-hitting Eric & Jessie television show?

Decker is a bigger than average target at 6’3”, and deceptively fast. Coming out of the University of Minnesota, many scouts said he was a smart receiver with good hands, that didn’t make mistakes but just made plays. He was strong, strong enough to get off jams at the line, and not afraid to go across the middle of the field.

Is there any one area where he excels? A deep threat burner? Not really, as he doesn’t have that second gear. A jump ball specialist adept at going up and over defensive backs? He’s not THAT big. Huge after the catch upside? Hmmm. Precise route runner? You’re sensing a pattern here with my line of questioning. It seems he’s more a servicable jack of all trades versus an outstanding master of any.

Despite the belief that he’s really more a No. 2 receiver in the league, Decker is undoubtedly one of the top free agent names, and pretty much tops the list of available wide receivers. So what teams might be looking at Jessie James’ husband for their 2014 roster? And, even more specifically, which landing spot might be the most appealing for fantasy football owners?

Stay Classy, San Diego

Hey, it’s happened before. A former Bronco receiver ends up in San Diego, making a bit of a name for himself. OK, OK, so it was short-lived, but former Bronco Eddie Royal scored eight touchdowns this year, including five the first two games.

But don’t you just know proud papa Philip Rivers would love to have one of Denver’s core receivers on his side of the field? As fiery a competitor as Rivers is, I can’t even imagine the smack he’d be shouting towards John Elway when drawing up plays to get Decker into the end zone against the Orange Crush.

Wait, does anyone even call the Broncos the Orange Crush anymore?

Decker Does Dallas

So, the Cowboys will apparently let Miles Austin go this off-season. Jason Witten is a year older. Sure they have the youngster Terrance Williams and junior slot machine Cole Beasley to trot out alongside Dez Bryant. And Tony Romo could always use another offensive playmaker, right? This sure feels like a Jerry Jones sort of move.

Remember the Roy Williams trade from the Lions back in the day? Dallas diehard fans haven’t forgotten. From a fantasy football perspective, this could rock. Oh sure, it benefits Romo more than anyone in this equation. And, should the new Cowboy offensive regime decides they should actually try and run the ball this year? Sigh.

Well, that puts a damper on this wacky idea. But I believe Decker would wear the star well. It might even allow Jerry cross-promotional opportunities on the Eric & Jessie’s show. Because Jerry needs more promotion.

Indianapolis Giver

Ok, so that pun doesn’t really fit here, but I’ve been trying to fit it into a story for months, and it’s too good for me to not use. How fun—and what about fantasy football isn’t just so darn fun?—would it be for Decker to leave Peyton in Denver for Andrew Luck in Indianapolis? If you’ve read this far, you don’t need me to connect those dots. Luck is a winner, even if his statistics haven’t yet met fantasy owners’ dreams. He’ll find his receivers, and utilize all his weapons. Reggie Wayne is 35 years old, and the running game needs—how do I say this—‘fixin, somethin’ fierce’. Another solid, steady weapon for young Amish Andrews? A resounding yes is that sound you hear from Colts fans everywhere.

Houston, We Could Fix This Problem

I honestly don’t know if there would be enough footballs to go around near the goal line, between Andre Johnson and Arian Foster. Touchdowns would certainly be at a premium for Mr. Decker in Houston, who caught 11 touchdown passes this past year. Although, in that offense, 11 touchdowns was good for only 15% of Denver’s total offensive touchdowns. So, he could make some noise in Houston. The ever classy and consistently productive Johnson will be 32 years of age when the season starts; granted, many wrote him off as spiraling downward this past season and he rebounded for a big year. But, 32 is closer to 35 than to 25. Yes, thank you, I minored in math.

Minnesota Gets Fat(s)

Yeah, this would be fun. Decker returns to play back in Minnesota again. He plays across from potential rising star Cordarrelle Patterson, with the man, the machine Adrian Peterson in the backfield. The downside here lies in the lap of the man tossing footballs his way. Who is this man, you ask? Yeah, so am I. Will it be Samantha Steele’s husband? Or what about Matt Cassel? Wait, he’s a free agent. Oh yeah, there’s Josh Freeman. Right. And he’s a free agent as well. Well, that whole homecoming thing was fun while it lasted.

Brunch with Brady and Belichick

Josh McDaniels drafted Decker in the third round of the 2010 draft, when McDaniels was with the Broncos organization. So there’s that. The Patriots wide receiver situation is pretty much a crapshoot at this point. If Julian Edelman walks, will Tom Brady want Decker?

I can’t help but imagine he’d certainly rather have a reliable replacement versus the young guys he seemed to take awhile to gel with last season. As it is, New England might open the season with Aaron Dobson, Kenbrell Thompkins and Danny Amendola? Yes, Belichick and McDaniels are masters are adjusting on the fly.

They shifted from big play receivers a few years back to a tight end heavy passing approach in 2012 to the ‘little engine that could’ receivers this past year. But, from a fantasy perspective, I’d love to see Decker hauling in passes from Brady.

Decker would relieve some pressure for all aspects of the New England offense. The run game would open a bit. And definitely Rob Gronkowski couldn’t be triple-teamed consistently. Even a guy like Amendola would benefit. I think Tom votes yes. 

So, there’s my vote; he goes to the Patriots. Get Brady some Decker. They’d put up numbers, I tell you. Especially fantasy numbers. Hell, they could even tote their trophy wives about town together, and buy matching UGG’s.

Now, about the over / under on shirtless Eric on the show? I’ll let you hit up Vegas for that prop bet.