With the holiday season upon us, there is no better time than to consider what each NHL team might have attached to a “holiday” wish list. Of course this list is fictional, and I certainly don’t want to offend anyone’s cultural sensibilities by tagging anything with Christmas, Hanukah or Kwanza.
That being said, in a over-sensitized, hyper-politically correct world where we can’t decorate our homes anymore without offending someone, stop being so uptight and just embrace whatever makes you happy this holiday season. For everyone, it’s MORE HOCKEY! Enjoy!
Anaheim Ducks-Pancakes for the entire team. Make Dustin Penner eat waffles for a change. Seriously though, a sustained swan song Stanley Cup run for Teemu Selanne.
Boston Bruins-Security for Milan Lucic when he ventures out for an adult beverage. Seriously?! Who wants to pick a bar fight with Milan Lucic?!?
Buffalo Sabres-A bye for the final 42 games of the season. This year can’t end quickly enough for Buffalo.
Calgary Flames-See Buffalo. Actually the Flames are showing a little fight. They are hoping for good health for Sean Monahan, who has been a real bright spot for the young Flames. They could probably use a goaltender too.
Carolina Hurricanes-Health for Jeff Skinner and Alexander Semin, two of the most brittle stars in the NHL.
Chicago Blackhawks-What do you get the team that has everything? Good health. That’s pretty much all the Blackhawks can wish for.
Colorado Avalanche-The Avalanche are wishing for a snooze button to keep their dream season alive. Nobody expected them to be this good, in spite of their talent. Maybe Patrick Roy is just THAT good as a head coach.
Columbus Blue Jackets-Health for the stars that make the Blue Jackets competitive. There aren’t many in Columbus, but the team struggles to be competitive without Marian Gaborik and Sergei Bobrovsky.
Dallas Stars-The Stars shouldn’t want for too much. They have sweet new uniforms, a new coach, a new GM. Perhaps the Stars simply want Colorado, Chicago, St. Louis and Minnesota to lose every once in a while so they can make up some ground.
Detroit Red Wings-A shootout victory, and a healthy captain. Enough said.
Edmonton Oilers-The Oilers want some consistency and development from their young stars. Something to build on, or a general sign that they have actually grown as a franchise in the last four years.
Florida Panthers-A fan base that cares. Don’t get mad if you’re a Panther’s fan. You know it’s true. You had a good team a couple years ago and you pretended to care. You have a good young core, and you still don’t.
Los Angeles Kings-Jonathan Quick to stay injured. Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones have been amazing and the Kings are the hottest team in the NHL lately.
Minnesota Wild-Josh Harding to get better soon. The Wild placed their star goaltender on IR, but he is expected to be back after Christmas as he adjusts to new medication for his Multiple Sclerosis.
Montreal Canadiens-Some consistent scoring to go with their stellar defense. The Habs can really push Boston in the Atlantic if they can get more than two goals per night.
Nashville Predators-A healthy Pekka Rinne. The Nashville goaltender has missed almost the entire season with a list of injuries. He is due back after the new year, but it can’t come soon enough for the Preds.
New Jersey Devils-A fountain of youth for Patrik Elias and Jaromir Jagr. Or an Ilya Kovalchuk dart board or shooting target.
New York Islanders-Goaltending and defense, plus a lifetime ban on those wretched third jerseys.
New York Rangers-Bubble wrap for their brittle captain Ryan Callahan. Out for the third time this season with his third separate injury, the Rangers can’t seem to get on track without their captain.
Ottawa Senators-They need some stars to get injured so they can start winning games. How much better were the Sens last year when they were missing Jason Spezza, Erik Karlsson and Craig Anderson at the same time? All are healthy now and the Senators suck. Hmmmm.
Philadelphia Flyers-An alarm clock to wake up their captain Claude Giroux. His two-goal effort Thursday night was pretty slick, but that gives him only nine on the year. He needs to be better if the Flyers want to get to the playoffs.
Phoenix Coyotes-More ice time for Paul Bissonnette. Seriously. In one of the most absurd stats I’ve ever heard of, @BizNasty2.0 averages one point every 10 minutes he plays, which is the highest point per ten-minute rate in the NHL. Think of the possibilities Dave Tippett!
Pittsburgh Penguins-A great health care program. Hopefully the Penguins already have a great health care plan because they have spent more collective time on the injured list than any team in the NHL. I would be curious to see what kind of coverage Obamacare gives to “lower body injuries”.
San Jose Sharks-A Stanley Cup Final appearance. They don’t have to even win the cup, but no team has been better over the last decade without a Final appearance than San Jose.
St. Louis Blues-Speaking of Stanley Cups, the Blues are another franchise with a much longer history without a championship banner in their rafters. This could be the season for a super talented club. We’ll say that they hope that Alexander Steen can continue his torrid scoring pace.
Tampa Bay Lightning-A healthy Steven Stamkos. Was there any other option here?
Toronto Maple Leafs-A healthy remaining season for Joffrey Lupul. The fragile Leafs’ wing has the worst luck in hockey and is due for a healthy stretch so we can see how good he really is.
Vancouver Canucks-It’s been awfully quiet in Vancouver and I think that the Canucks are hoping, and wishing that coach John Tortorella keeps it that way. Sure we love the sound bytes and the yelling, but the Canucks have been playing some really good hockey, which is a much better story.
Washington Capitals-The Capitals are hoping that Alexander Ovechkin doesn’t fall off his current pace too much. Let’s face it, he probably won’t keep it going at his current level, but he is clearly the engine that drives this team.
Winnipeg Jets-The easy answer is that the Jets are just happy to be playing in front of people that love them. Or the token Dustin Byfuglien eating joke. However, the team wants Evander Kane to sign a long-term deal and to start playing like he wants to be in Winnipeg.