Paul Bissonnette is famous for many things that are hockey related, the least of which may actually be that he is a hockey player. Well, that may be what it reads on his resume. Bissonnette is currently looking for a job and as his unofficial marketing agent, I will tell you why he needs a job in the NHL, possibly for your favorite team.
The social media legend may be the most followed NHLer on the planet if, for no other reason, the NHL has been horribly bad at marketing their sport and their players. His handle, @BizNasty2.0 is currently being followed by over half a million people and while I have no idea where that may rank in the NHL, I also have no interest in knowing that statistic either. (There’s an opportunity for you advanced stats guys!)
Speaking of advanced stats, you Corsi guys out there have to acknowledge that if you want to live by a statistical percentage, Bissonnette’s numbers in 2013-14 were commendable. Sure it’s a smallish sample size, but the numbers never lie, right? Just look at these numbers compared to the 2013-14 Hart Trophy Finalists.
While hockey purists may have the former Coyote enforcer listed as a punch line or a member of a dying breed of tough guys, there is something quite special about the Welland, Ontario native. Not special as in licking windows special, but a personality that attracts the masses, something that the sport absolutely needs.
Let’s be honest, hockey is a sport rated slightly above niche, between X Games and the NBA and we can use all the personality we can get. The self-aggrandizing Bissonnette made a name for himself in the Glendale community as much for being a free spirit on and off the ice as well as being a fantastic human being. His work with Sauce Hockey and local charities in the Phoenix area cemented his status as a local hero.
Naturally the guy that punches people on the ice is usually going to be a fan favorite, and Bissonnette always understood his role. He was always the first to acknowledge that he was not a Hart Trophy candidate, but his popularity among teammates speaks to the quality he brought to the locker room. The reality of knowing that he would not be back for the 2014-15 season was a tough pill to swallow.
"It sucks," the Coyotes' fan favorite said Tuesday. "It's really sad because I had a blast there for five years. I met a lot of awesome people -- got really close with the fans and the community, and I'll really miss them."
With free agency kicking off July 1st, Bissonnette’s name was hardly scorching the internet or the tongues of desperate general managers. That being said, there is definitive value to bringing someone like Bissonnette to an NHL roster. He understands his role completely. He knows why he is there, he will work his tail off and with some years under his belt, is a positive locker room influence.
"A lot of guys don't have the personality for that," he said. "I'm willing to shut up, do what I'm told and go do the dirty work. And if I'm a healthy scratch, I'll be positive in the (locker) room and tell the guys how great they are."
Spoken by a man that knows that no amount of pucks shot into a dryer will turn him into Sidney Crosby. Speaking of the NHL’s best player, is it unfair to say that Crosby could use a little bit of Bissonnette injected into his personality? Let’s be real here. As electrifying as Crosby is on the ice, drying paint thinks that Crosby interviews are boring.
How would I describe Bissonnette to a non-hockey fan? I would say a much smarter version of Rob Gronkowski with the talent of Chris Gronkowski. The guy is a one-man media show, with a bigger heart and a quicker wit. “Yo soy fiesta?”
Do we have any bids yet? Come on! Look at those advanced stats again.
In a sports world that glorifies megalomaniac tool bags like Johnny Manziel and LeBron James and somehow Drake, the NHL needs Paul Bissonnette to somehow restore balance to the galaxy. The opposite of douchiness is what Biz brings to the table and it is something that the NHL needs to compete on the larger table with the other sports and the caricatures that have replaced athletes.
We all smiled a little bit when Claude Giroux got arrested for grabbing a Canadian police officer’s backside, repeatedly. We didn’t blink when we learned that it was a male officer, nor were we shocked that alcohol was a factor. While I certainly don’t condone the behavior, it’s the personalities that are drawing people in to sports, building their popularity in a world with a shriveling attention span.
My final point will be the one that gets Bissonnette a gig somewhere. It is an argument that has no counterpoint and will conclude what I feel usurps even the most refined and calculated discussion: The San Jose Sharks signed John Scott for $1 million.
I think we’re done here. You’re welcome.